Week 3 - Belief

Week Three – I’m starting to believe….

1 Year Ago....

After 19 workouts, I’m starting to see how this program of training really works...on me.  It’s been an interesting period, learning and working through this program, especially because I have been trying to generate a workout routine that fits with my work and watch keeping routine. I generally workout during lunch time, and eat a green alkalizing berry smoothie after my recovery protein shake. I’ve started saving my breakfast’s boiled eggs for snacking on between meals, plus for the extra protein I’ve been chucking down a small tin of tuna and some nuts whenever I feel hungry too.

2014 Health Challenges

40 Days Clean

It has actually been 41 days clean – no coke, no soft fizzy carbonated drinks, no alcohol. I feel great. I’m way more hydrated, and I’ve even cut down my coffee intake… Wifey will be pleased will this! My energy levels are way more regulated since I have cut this drastic sugar intake out of my diet, and reduced my stimulant intake. So, for those trying to give up their ‘vice’, it is possible – but trust me willpower only works when you believe in the end objective… 100% or not at all.

Local Coconut Water Rehydration - Yummy

Local Coconut

Power & Strength

By breaking up my workouts into a heavy day for each muscle group I’m getting sufficient physical respite before the next heavy day (usually heavier), for the same muscle group.  This means I’m starting to be able to push harder and get more from each progressive session.

Today, on Back day, I just smashed two personal bests – Landmine Inverted Row: 100kg, Deadlifts: 110kg and I managed all 5 reps each set on both! On Inclined Dumbbell Rows I worked up to 32.5kg on each dumbbell, which is also a new maximum! This is development is happening across the board, so it should be interesting when I reduced the weight a little and return to 8-10 repetitions on heavy days!

Endurance & Stamina

I believe that by increasing the number of repetitions and dropping the weight right off, I’m working my muscles differently and the ‘pump’ of doing multiple repetitions is developing a new level of endurance. This is really improving my muscle stamina. It’s getting harder, and in this rotation will push me to knock out up to 30 repetitions. I think this is a huge element in how the ‘shred’ of fat tissue will also occur. I’m not looking forward to this final phase of the third rotation. 

Speed & Fitness

So the High Intensity Interval Training, between each set is really making me feel fit. It’s turbo-boosting my heart rate and my workouts are really pumped up as a result of it. This, coupled with the awesome power of Oxyshred has really made me heat up during my workouts. My speed during spinning, rowing and cross-training has been dramatically improving, although between day 4 and day 6 I struggle a little, but I think this may be mild fatigue! I’ve spinning at around 0.7km per minute, which is like 42kph! So, in 1-minute bursts, for around 15 repetitions, I’m busting out 10km, which is pretty intensive! From a fitness point of view, I’m really starting to see additional fitness gained from doing cardio sets of leg press, and seated calf raise with comfortable weight. I’m feeling stronger in my lower body, especially with all the stairs and long, tiresome rounds I conduct as a watch keeper.

Week One Reflections

Week One – Progress?

It’s only when you take the time to look back at where your journey began that you realize how far you’ve actually travelled. What you think you’re doing, seeing and achieving is probably so much less that you really are. Not a believer? Well, you and me both…until now. To help me demonstrate why I believe now, I’m going to look back over my life (briefly) and reflect on the development as I initially see it and then I’m going to delve a little deeper and prove that the things I personally take for granted are so much more valid than I realize. I want to share some of my secrets with you…..

Why? – Honesty.

I want to be honest. Honest to you, Honest to me. I want you to know. That, and the fact that I’m feeling the reflection and I believe it’s a good time to share – after all “sharing is caring”. I often feel the twang of non-development and guilt for not pushing harder, and as such I lose sight of how far I’ve come in retrospect for how far I still have to travel. Another reason I want to share is because I’ve been holding this in for many years and now I’m letting it out.

My Health & Fitness

In terms of my health, I’ve never really taken it seriously until recently. As a kid I played football (soccer), ran long distance and participated in Royal Navy Cadet sports such as Field Gun. I was encouraged to be active by my parents and enoy it. I was always motivated by movies such as Rocky and the (original) Karate Kid. A an adult I worked out irregularly in the gym, played squash and spent many years teaching and competing as a kickboxer. I don’t think I can remember a time post 18 years old where I didn’t have a belly and excess body fat. One of my oldest friends back in ‘Old Blighty’ used to say she was proud of how far I’d come (of course I never took it on board) – I was the guy who ate dunkin donuts and coke for breakfast, with a cheesy garlic bread chaser, in 1997. By 2000, I’d kicked the donuts and garlic bread but I never realized that until recently…

 I spent my twenties teaching scuba diving, which although physically demanding has a particularly fun and active social side – meaning excess drinking, eating and partying.

As a consequence, my late twenties arrived pretty quickly (in the haze of youthful alcoholism) and I landed in Sydney (after a few drinks on the 24 hour flight) – the most body-conscious city I’ve ever known as a fat heavy drinker. I weighed 118kg but I was loaded with body fat, visceral fat and was not in great shape. Bending to tie my shoe laces caused me to break into a sweat (no lie) and I’d frequently end up huffing and puffing after a short walk up stairs to my apartment. It didn’t improve until I met Winnie. She was healthy, very healthy. She trained Taekwondo and swam fairly regularly. She inspired the change.

My Diet

In terms of my diet, I was always fed nutritious meals at home. Portion sizes were massive and I was raised to clear my plate. Seconds never really happened because we were served big enough portions to leave no excess. Every meal was a mountain to climb. Every bbq was more or less a challenge where survival of the fattest/hungriest would win out. That said I was raised to enjoy veggies and salads (and I make a pretty awesome salad – thanks for that Nanny Marg!). I’ve had a sweet tooth as long as I can remember, and crave sweets, lollies, chocolate, ice cream and fizzy soft drinks. It’s not easy giving those things up. As I grew up my hunger grew too, therefore my portions kept growing too I guess. Then I reached legal age to drink alcohol. Welcome the fun of pubs and bars, enter the beer belly. Dang! Well as I mentioned the diving era was very sociable and as such I drank a lot. A lot is an underestimation. I was binge drinking by modern standards, most nights. Now, almost a decade later, I drink irregularly and I’m proud to say I consume no more than 1-2 drinks per week (more like per month) at medicals I may attend. The other side to excessive drinking, was that I’d stuff myself silly with pies, sausage rolls, chips, kebabs and other unhealthy junk foods late at night, prior to going to bed.  Now I eat a sensible, gluten free restricted diet and rarely consume alcohol. I take dietary supplements and supplements for my training regime. It seems like a huge waste of money to consume those and then ruin it with binge drink/eating.

The Present

I’m deployed. I’m focused, driven to succeed – I’m a proudly serving member of her Majesty’s Royal Australian Navy. I apply myself and test my limits every day. I work hard and smart. I train hard and often. I eat well, with occasional rewards and treats. I usually share them with my fellow watch keepers – which reduces my potential intake and keeps me satiated with small tastes of my favourite things. I stick to my planned training routines and never quit. I have developed a self-actuating mentality and I’m determined to succeed.

In my life I’ve always lived with no regrets. I still keep myself honest with this, but now I look at my own life with a greater appreciation for the present.

The Past is History, The Future is a Mystery…but the Present, that’s a Gift.

SO now, I’m 95kg and I’m not bothered about my weight. I’m bothered about transformation. I’ve been working hard to make 2014 my year of transformation. I have travelled so far, I’ve done a full 360 on who I was, and I’m loving the person I’m becoming. Today for instance, I worked out in the gym. Granted I was motivated by Rocky 3, and the Eye of the Tiger is playing in my head right now, and I pushed harder. The result was an awesome workout, Arms and Abs day flew by in a blur. My arms kill right now, and my body is sore – but that’s making me feel more alive.

I’m the luckiest man in the world. I have a super wicked awesome family, a pretty cool job that I enjoy and the best wife ever. She supports, motivates and inspires. She challenges me and gives me a reason to be better. To prove how good I am to the world. I Love my darling, little bear.

Personal side to my journey has been even more epic, and I’ll save that for another day….

My Goal – Moving Forwards

My biggest, most difficult goal is to transform my life, my habits and my thought processes to being healthy and active. For my future family, I wanna be the kind of dad who runs around with, plays games with and enjoys the journey of bringing children into being. I don’t want to be restricted with aches, pains, excessive blubber. I don’t want my future teenage kids to be ashamed of me, to think of me as a poor role model. Na-uh. I’m going for the opposite.

I want my wife, my family and my kids (one day) to be proud of who I am, where I come from and where I want to be.

“In defence of my country, I will make my family proud”

Next….

Three Questions

To finish, I’d like to pose three questions for you. Take them on board and use them at will for any aspect of your life. It helps me and its part of my meditative practice to mull over them:

1.     What have I learnt?

2.     What am I learning?

3.     What am I yet to learn?

Challenge yourself, push hard but remember looking back to lubricate your journey onwards from now is vital.

Looking Back to Move Forwards

Day 85 - Caving Activity

What a day. I think that today has been one of the most challenging days for me; from a physical and mental point of view. Today our class went on a caving trip, to develop our leadership and offer a different setting for some self-development and reflection.

Caving

So, having done lots of tight spaces in the diving sense, in wrecks and caverns all over the world, I was feeling pretty confident about today's challenge. Still it pays to go with an open mind, because every day we can find learning opportunities in almost everything we do.

The caving was carried out at Bungonia National Park, NSW...3 hours away from Jervis Bay. In the middle of nowhere, we were there learning about leadership and crawling around like rats!

The first cave was a great warm up, a great lesson in communication, some tricky traverses but mostly a simple enough cave to get through. The lights out exercise, resonated with me. It reminded me of night diving skills, but the conversation was interesting. When people were asked about their fears, or anxieties before the cave one person spoke up....whether this was fear of embarrassment or otherwise, the result when asked in the dark was more people talking about the same subject. In my humble opinion, this was a really good exercise in Honesty. It was startling how much more honest people were, when they couldn't see your face, or you theirs. It actually pulled the team together almost instantly and that was staggering. Know Yourself, Know Your People. Be honest.

The second was a little more tricky. There were squeezes, tight ones, propelling along ledges attached to chain, climbs, belays, you name it we were in it. There was a silt out caused by movement, dust and that was hard (on the lungs and the mind). The climbs weren't easy. They required some strength in your upper body and your legs. The crawls were hard your knees, elbows and core - especially the squeeze through sections! I got stuck a few times, still working on reducing the 'Bateman Belly', but at 94kg I'm happy to be doing it after losing some weight! Getting stuck didn't bother me, that was just a logical puzzle to solve. 

Fears, Self-Control and Thinking Too Much

I took more from today, than I have ever on a leadership or development course before. When I was placed at the back of the group in the second cave, I began getting concerned about the people I couldn't see. Coming from the diving world of guiding divers, accounting for them and leading them from the front, put me well out of my natural comfort zone in this case! In the 'cement bag' silt out I couldn't see or hear people for a few moments. I was not worried about myself, per say, just how my team mates were doing, then I started to think...and this situation that can be deadly. I started to think about how deep underground, how the air was dense with silt, how hot I was getting, how my breathing rate was increasing....then it hit me.... focus on your dive training. I regained control of my breathing, and remembered something Winnie wrote on a dive slate: "Keep Breathing, Love Winnie" and that helped, but surprisingly the think that changed it was when I saw one of the staff members Chief Blowie.... I said "talk to me chief" (I was trying to distract my thoughts)...to which he replied "you're a dickhead"... which made me laugh, and remember that comedy or keeping things light can control a situation. 

I was carrying a trusty little rock in my pocket. In the moments where there was inactivity, where I had the potential to think (or over think) I started scratching the rock surfaces. I found I was writing the words "Winnie, Win Gaz, and Batman" quite a lot..... I always find that thinking of Winnie calms me down, make me see sense etc. She's always there, even when she's not!

Later on after getting stuck again, I was actually first going through a very tight crawl-squeeze. I didn't like how tight it was, and almost started thinking again, but using self-control and the knowledge that I was with a great team (My buddy was Mr Protein) and a few reassuring words (that I didn't need as it happens) had me scooting through in no time. I was saying to myself JFDI! It helped.

Physical Training

Caving, Climbing and working your way through the tight spaces is a pretty tough workout. Im so glad my endurance training has been going on. It really did prepare me for the cross-fitness of climbing, sliding, squatting, pulling myself along or up, belaying and carrying equipment. I did a little research on getting home, and a day of caving/climbing burns between 3000-4000 Calories. Which is testament to the continuous whole-body workout that I had received today.

Happy Faces....

Day 72 - Wednesday

Wednesday

A strange and fulfilling day. After a nice lie in bed, and a later start I worked through the morning with a pretty focused mindset. Achieved some tasks that needed doing at was ready to have a 'quick' workout by about 1600h.

Gym

I decided on a workout which would make me feel pumped after! I opted to do chest and abdominals, I pushed hard in the gym, blowing out the cobwebs of another naval day. I was going pretty well actually, especially during decline bench press and the incline dumbbell press exercises! Started seeing just a touch more development there! My abdominals were feeling like they had plateaued but after yesterday I knew I could keep going! I maintained a good training rhythm for around 90 minutes.

Spin

I was intending to do some endurance cardio today. Initially I was going to run, but the inclement weather made the decision for an indoor session for me. I then decided on a short spin and a short swim. Have you ever gotten so into a flow, that you've lost track of 'time', even though you know how long you've been going for? Well, today that was the case. I was spinning really comfortably, averaging 95rpm, with a steady low heart rate 110-115bpm in a nice gear similar to my normal riding gear on my Cannondale. I saw 30 minutes fly past, then 45, 60....90 and well, after I realised how close to riding 50km I was - I decided to stay put until then. I ended up riding 54.1km in 120 minutes. Not bad, and although the saddle and riding position isn't perfect on a spin bike, I was pretty comfortable throughout, even when my butt started to get sore at 50km! A very pleasing time.

Gels & Energy Products

I wanted to test out some electrolyte gels to see which ones would be suitable (for my glutardyness) for when I start running beyond 20-30km in preparation for my marathon in September. I wanted to test to see if could go a little farther after taking a gel, and to see how my body would react. I took an Endura brand gel in my pocket. Since I've tried the dextrose ones, and the GU Chomps (which are quite good on runs), I wanted to give a thicker gel a try. This one was espresso flavoured which was quite nice at the 30 minute mark. I made sure to hydrate throughout my session, but did down a little extra fluids after the gel (as directed on the packet). I found it to taste good, go down easy, and most impressive of all - I have had no reactions from the maltodextrin. I found my ride focus was improved, but that might just be due to listening to my iPod for a change of music! Plus conversation with a sailor riding alongside me for around 30 minutes made light work of the first quarter! I'll be talking about these gel things a little more in the future, when I get to test on some long runs.

Needless to say, after 3.5hrs of training, I was getting hungry and decided to call it a night. Now I need to get back into my packing...Going home in 2 more sleeps!

Days 64-70 - Guilt, Decisions and Fitting It All In..

Guilt Trip?

Why do we feel guilty for missing a workout? Its something that really bugs me. Anyone who regularly trains, watches what they eat and lives an active lifestyle knows that missing one workout isn't going to reverse time, add layers of fat or make us inconceivably unfit.  So why do we beat ourselves up over it? Over the past 10 weeks I've been working really hard to maintain consistency in my training routine, and healthier eating regime. As time has gone by, I've noticed how much easier it has been getting to get myself to the gym, or choose the healthy meal for dinner. I've survived the past 70 days on a balanced diet of guilt, inspiration and reward. But why? Well, I've been reading up on this....

The real fire starter that made me start writing about it was the events of the past week (grad week). As I look back upon a very busy week; a week packed with early starts, long days of presentations  about naval stuff, and late evenings spent social networking; I recall the amount of guilt I felt for skipping a few training sessions, and for the social drinking I've participated in (and there was a lot of that). I woke each day, a little slower, each day hoping to get some exercise, and punishing myself if I didn't get some. I managed two 90 minute football (5-a-side) games, some gym time and a lunch time swim between Tuesday and Friday. Sunday I punished myself at the Flinders Street Fitness First, and today I had a glimpse of a normal day, compressed into the evening session. It was a wicked to give my back and abs the blast they needed, plus a good 15 minute spin, followed by a quick 13 minute 500m swim just about finished me off.

So, after each session, and in particular tonight's, I started to lose all feelings of guilt, once I had punished myself. It's been annoying me as to why I felt guilt in the first place...So, lets talk this one out....

Different Points of View

Is developing a healthy mindset a vital component of a healthy lifestyle? I believe it is. I also believe that making decisions and taking ownership of our choices keeps us on track, without the twang of guilt that makes us feel so bad.

One article I read suggested that a primary reason for people skipping workouts is that the drudgery that can occur when workouts are forced, or in other words, if we want to be successful we need to stop forcing ourselves to do the things we don't like doing. Well, that seems sensible.

My research led me to a US Football Coach, John Gagliardi, who is accredited with being the most successful college football coach in the history of football coaches....wow. He has a philosophy thats so simple its cringe worthy. Intrinsic Motivation.

So, what is Intrinsic Motivation, well it's funny but this was also mentioned during the week at one of the naval presentations by a well regarded Captain. It is the key to longevity in all things; but lets keep it fitness related....It basically this: if you like it or enjoy it or find it fun, you'll keep doing it. FULL STOP.

So if liking exercise is the key to sticking with it, what makes us like it? Apparently, there's three things that we need:

1. Autonomy - the choice to do it is made by YOU, not someone else.
2. Competence - you know what you're doing, or are at least you're improving.
3. Relatedness - the activity connects you in some way with other people.

That's how the US footie coach did it, by creating an environment with all three, nearly 60 years ago.

Points to Remember: 

• Exercise is a choice, not a jail sentence - Knowing that you are in charge of what you do may assist you in getting started.
• Exercise is a commitment you make everyday - Some days you're more committed than others. You need discipline and consistency to keep you getting out of the door.
• Every day is different - Some days you need to work harder to get motivated.

Skipping....?

I often find myself, feeling guilty for asking the following question - How will skipping affect my day? Well, I've discovered recently that a workout isn’t just important for burning calories, it can affect every part of your day, both physically and mentally. I try to remind myself that getting in a workout routine:

Gives you more energy

Improves your confidence and self-satisfaction

Starts your day on the right foot

Helps you concentrate better

Helps you get more things done

Allows you to actively re-commit to your goals

Exercise is one of the few things you can do that seeps into all areas of your life. Just a few minutes and some sweat will pay off in the long run.

I guess, the crux of my research points to mindset. Develop a healthy relationship with your training. Have fun, and enjoy what you're doing. Don't be hard on yourself if you need to skip, but remember why you train and how good you feel and use that as motivation to get yourself back on track. It's not looking like an exact science, so have fun with finding out what works for you... I do.

Day 42 - Week 7 Begins

Compound or Isolated

It was recently brought to my attention that I might gain additional traction with my weights and strength training routine if I were to train using compound exercises. As it happens, I've been doing this already, incorporating a healthy mix of compound and isolation exercises - so it feels like I'm going good.

Functional fitness is that which simulates real-life activities and uses a wide range of movements through a wide range of motion. At the heart of these routines are a variety of compound exercises. Compound exercises are multi-joint movements that work several muscles or muscle groups at one time. The type of exercise has more benefits that just being a little bit harder on your workout. Here' what I've learnt:

1. You burn more calories during compound exercise training
2. You simulate real world exercises and activities
3. You get a full body workout faster
4. This improves coordination, reaction time and balance
5. This improves joint stability and improves muscle balance across a joint
6. It reduces the risk of injuries during sport
7. It keeps your heart rate up and this benefits your cardiovascular system
8. It allows you to exercise for longer with less muscle fatigue
9. It allows you to lift heavier loads and build more strength 

Isolations exercises work only one muscle or muscle group and only one joint at a time. These exercises are often performed with the commercial weight machines we see in the gym. These machines isolate one muscle group, so gym users can move from one machine to another to obtain a 'full body workout'.

Isolation exercise is a really good way to focus on specific muscle groups. I used this method of training to recover from my torn hamstring last year, and I hear its a great way to increase size or bulk of specific muscles (if you're into that).

From what I've read the balance is definitely in favour of training with lots of compound, using isolation exercises to improve the performance of specific muscles, groups or joints.

Get To It, Learn New Variations....

I often use the isolation machines to warm up (since I do a major muscle every day), then move to compound exercises for the bulk of my workout. I've always tried (where possible) to complete as many exercises standing to improve my core strength (hoping that one day the hard work will pay off and my belly will shrink)... You get out what you put in....

Everyday, Learn Something New...

When I reached the gym, in the early pre-dawn cool air I had already decided to give a full compound workout a go. In exchange for the seat row machines, I used free weights. Mr P gave me a few tips on some of the new versions using a barbell, which was very useful.

I trained hard today. I started with barbell bent over rows, working a couple lightweight sets to practice then chucking on the weight (quite low) so I could focus on technique - going back to basics helps to reinforce what you think you've learnt! After completion of another 3 sets of rows, I then moved to dead lifts. I could feel the difference to my normal machine use almost immediately, and more so in my core! I still used the lat pulldown and the isolated forward inclined row machine - I like the challenge of both, plus its was a good variation and to feel the isolated muscles after working the core also made me more aware of my technique!

I love working my back one side of the spine at a time, using the cable crossover. I modified the normal seat row variants into standing, well, semi-squating routines and felt my legs stabilising whilst holding firm in my abs - whilst focusing on working my back. So good.

After 60 minutes of gym time, all spent on my back (which will love me for it later) I moved to some quick abdominal work. Farmer walks with weight discs, leg and knee raises, not to mention the hanging leg raises - which I found I was swinging more than normal? So, weird!

Another good workout, which was lucky since work commitments meant no evening cardio tonight....which led to a little over eating / indulgence...but I'll push harder in my workouts tomorrow! I'm comfortable with that!

Day 38 - Harsh Realities

Its all about the hard yards. I'm finding out that day by day, the challenge of travelling from fat to fit is more about the willpower, resilience and the ability to go the distance, than it is about much else.

Going The Distance

The ability to go the distance is pretty important. The way I see it, you need to be in it for the 'long haul' if you want to achieve more than just a temporary fix. You gotta put in 100% everyday, with consistency (of course), but more than that. You have to be prepared to sacrifice a few things, or take on new burdens, to take a few hits on the way. The pathway to success is not smooth. I'd say, I've always said that:

"You have to fully appreciate the rough in life to get the most out of the smooth."

This is one of those occasions. After my glutard-slip the other morning, which after 37 days is pretty good (although going back to day 1 bowel/intestine cleansing sucks, but is required), kinda bites just a touch. I've got a lovely array of mouth ulcers, a swollen gut, achy joints and I'm feeling really irritable and tired to boot. These are my "immediate" impact symptoms of eating just the tiniest amount of gluten. I'm paying for my flawed eating choice, and I'm learning too. It's hard coping with this, but it is a necessity. I am far from perfect, and I'm not too proud to admit when I make blunders such as this. This blog holds me accountable, which is nice, but really truthfully when I'm led in my bed tonight (and last night) groaning with stomach pains, the accountable doesn't come into it at that point. Whats going on there is an internal dilemma. I'm fighting the pain, with knowledge, knowing that I can and must go longer than 37 days, that I must fight the pains and cramps. You see, you don't stop until you hear the bell ring. 

The Old Glutard-Slip-The Jab!

"It ain't over, 'til its over."

Today, was hard for me. I couldn't concentrate, my body was sore (and not from training) and yet life goes on...and so do I. Tough Titties! Cry me a river...blah blah blah. When you know you messed up and that you need to re-hash the plan to prevent it happening again, do just that...don't dwell or get cranky - just fix it, move on and shut the heck up! 

So, thats what I did; I talked to the 'peeps in power' today, organised (hopefully) better glutard-friendly food, trained my tired mind in the classroom, achy muscles in the gym and more over I forced myself to run in the very cool and drizzly night air, alone! I pushed through all the crap going on and decided to fight, not frown.

I'm telling you this, because you might be giving up smoking, or have to quit sugar, or have some special reason to go against the grain in your life.. You might feel like giving up, reverting back to your former less strict self, or just falling off the wagon...worse still, you might just be crying about all the wrongs you've been dealt..... DON'T YOU EFFING DARE! 

Just don't, okay? Keep your chin up, it happens to the best of us, but the difference between someone who wins and someone who quits is very slight:

Isn't that right, Mr Mouldie

You are NOT made of glass and you WILL not crack, shatter or splinter.... Every slip is a new opportunity to learn something, to put new measures in place to prevent it. As an engineer, I know its part of the process - making mistakes is ok, just don't make the same one over and over and over! Learn, move forwards, take the hits and be proud of your resilience to all the BS. Tough talk, but its needed.

So, how do I prevent this happening to me again? Well, firstly a few 'safe guards' are now in place at work. I have also invoked the help of others to pull me through, so hopefully one less failure point and some extra support. But I know, life is a minefield and occasionally you might just set another one off...oh well, learn from it.

Now, I want to win, I want to prove to myself (and all those neigh sayers) that I can achieve this lifestyle change. I will not give up.

Arms & Abs

This morning's workout was powerful, hard work session of arms (biceps and triceps) and abdominals. I used the whole 60 minutes for arms, plus an extra 15 for abs. I was almost late for class. I think even though I was training hard, I felt the pain early on - my stomach was sore and my joints ached...Being swollen makes you feel nauseous, but I pushed through and blasted some 'ripper' burps and farts as I did!

The whole workout, and time sat in class today, I was planning my punishment session for this evening....

Run-Time 

Not the cool run-time you stick to when diving deep and technical, run time...the times when you go running and don't enjoy it! Tonight's punishment - run at least 10km outside of Cerberus. Run in the cold and dark and drizzle. Pretend to enjoy it, be you know I didn't. It worked, I pushed through did almost 11km in 60 minutes and really went through it all. The elation of finishing, the procrastination pre-starting...Mr Joe and Edd both can attest to my tardiness in getting started! I felt the aches of running with soreness, the wind (and moist farts that always make you worry) the burps and puke-feeling you get when you train through indigestion or stomach cramps. My knees hurt, my feet were sore....every excuse my body and brain tried to get me to turn around, I ignored. I pushed through....Just Frickin' Do It... (I'm starting to hate this phrase, but it seems to work). The dim lit streets around Crib with all that wild, unkept foliage and trees was the real test...I can't remember how many times I got whipped by a tree, bush or shrubbery! My brain said: "NO, Gaffa, NO!" but I chose to GO GO GO!!!

How I felt after 11km Running, tonight.

I can remember the surge of joy, then pain, then followed sleepiness. I felt so tired on return to my cabin...I dozed there and then....lost about 20 minutes, sitting in a chair - hadn't even removed my shoes. After, I took a long, warm shower and feebly stretched, groaned and burped some more pukey burps...

 I still feel a bit wasted, but I do know this: I made positive changes today - I stepped forward after taking some hits. I pushed through a range of emotions, justifications and 'reasons not to'...I passed my own test, now it's time to rest.